By Tony “Stats” Romano, Sports Editor
BETHEL — In a stunning revelation that has rocked both the world of local politics and small-college athletics, The Bethel Truth Teller has uncovered evidence that First Selectman Dan Carter has been moonlighting as a collegiate baseball player for William Paterson University.
Our investigation began innocently enough, after readers tipped us off to a roster listing for “Dan Carter” on the William Paterson Pioneers baseball website. The roster described him as a 6’0”, right-handed pitcher. The problem? Our own Dan Carter, First Selectman of Bethel, also happens to be approximately 6’0” and, according to town hall sources, “throws shade with his right hand in budget meetings.”
Town Hall records confirm that Selectman Carter spends his weekdays navigating pothole complaints, zoning applications, and tax disputes. But game logs show that on weekends, he has allegedly been suiting up in Pioneer pinstripes, striking out batters and boosting his batting average.
“This explains why he always shows up to Selectman meetings in a baseball cap,” said one anonymous town employee. “We just thought he liked the look. Turns out, he was hiding pine tar on the brim.”
Local residents are now questioning how Carter finds time to balance both public office and Division III baseball. “It’s actually impressive,” said Bethel resident Janice Ricci. “One minute he’s negotiating snow plow budgets, the next he’s stealing bases. That’s multitasking.”
Even some opponents have been forced to admire his stamina. “I may disagree with him politically, but if he can pull a double-header on Saturday and then chair a Finance Committee meeting on Monday, well… that’s leadership,” said a stunned town council member.
When reached for comment, Carter responded cryptically: “No comment. Just know I’m batting .312 this season, and my ERA is down.”
As of press time, the William Paterson Pioneers have not confirmed or denied the identity overlap, though their sports information director reportedly said, “If he can cut our property taxes as well as he cuts fastballs across the plate, we’ll gladly keep him.”
One thing is clear: Bethel’s First Selectman has been pitching more than policies.